Big Thanks to this MAN!!

I havent blogged in awhile so this one might become rather lengthy... For a couple of months now i havent felt like myself.. There has been a couple things happen to me that i am not able to talk about and i cope by just trying to shut everything out and not talk about it and just move on.. But this time it was different.. I started being someone im not.. I started treating others badly and talking bad about others behind there backs.. Because of these problems that i refused to take care of.. That's not me at all.. I have made so many friends, but seem to have lost the majority of them.. Not sure if it was all my fault but im sure most of it was... Im all about success and dreams.. I want everyone in this whole world to do what they have always dreamed of.. Because you dream of things you want to do because you love them and you can picture yourself being good at whatever it is.. My problem is, that I want everyone to be successfull so if i see them starting to fall i go and try to catch them and fix their problems.. This problem of mine had become huge.. I am so busy worrying about others that i have let myself completely fall.. And it is kinda hard to get back up.. Im not sure anyone understands but i dont expect them too... There is a song that i dearly love and i was listening to it and the chrous really hit me,"Tonight I've fallen and i cant get up, i need those loving arms to come and pick me up." That is exactly what i needed help from those loving hands from the man up above.. I have been Praying and reading, and reading and praying and asking for help, so that i can understand why I am having these problems, and i finally got the answer i needed....

This last weekend our wonderful beloved Prophet came to dedicate the beautiful Gila Valley Temple.. We went to the cultural Celebration that my little brothers were in and President Monson was there.. My mom and I got seats on the grass.. I kept texting Morgan and Joey to trade me spots cuz they could see the dances better, but all of the sudden President Monson pulled up in his golf cart and was only a row in front of me.. He looked me right in the eye and smiled.. others got the better deal and got to shake his hand and actually talk to him.. But as he smiled that simple smile.. my heart sank and the water works happened instantly.. It was such an awesome experience..

After last night i have thought about all my problems and talked to my mom who stayed with me for the weekend.. I came to the conclusion that if I try to be happy and think that im happy.. I will become happy and all i need is that simple smile.. What i have been missing these past couple of months is that simple smile that left my face and is now back in place.. Everyone has there little problems and some have big ones and some have bigger ones.. but we should never give up just hold on and keep going.. i heard this quote in one of my english classes, "When things go wrong as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow--You may succeed with another blow, Success is failure turned inside out--The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

I have found my problem and my solution.. I know im not perfect and everyone has there ups and downs, but it was hard for me this time because it was a different problem then i have ever had.. I let myself down and others around me to... I formed into something i wasnt and became unhappy.. That isnt how i was raised or the way i was taught.. I was taught that if i had a problem to take care of it instantly and not to let it eat at me till it got bigger to where it ate me.. I forgot what i was taught for a short few months, all i needed was a little smile to remind me and pull me through.. I know that the only thing that has gotten me through all of this was my wonderful mom and have the gospel in my life.. I cant even imagine how i would of known what to do if I wouldnt of been there when the Prophet was and to feel the spirit that i did.. I am so thankful for the gospel in my life and my family...Without either of them.. I believe i wouldnt be here today.. They have helped me tremendously in so many ways.. and i know that they are both there to pick me up when i fall...

CHANGE

Have you ever wondered what life was about?? There are so many twists and turns to life and what it has to offer.. In February I turned 20, and now its about time to make some decisions in my life. I have greatly enjoyed my time here at EA.. and i still have one more semester to go.. I have made tons of friends and some BEST friends.. I have some choices to make in my life and refuse to think about them. In Church, and Devotional, we are always hearing how we need to date and find our FEC (future eternal companion). We need to prepare for marriage and how to raise a family. Most of the time i feel ready and want it so bad. But then, that's when i stop and think, I am not as ready as i think i am. I want a career, something to fall back on incase something happens, i want to fulfill my goals and be what i have worked so hard for. I look at some of the girls here, and how they get married so fast and almost none of them have a plan. I dont know how they do it, or why they do it. I know everyone is different and God has a different plan for everyone, but i know what i want, and i want to work hard for it. As i said school is coming to an end and now it's time for a change once again.

Every girl has there one BEST friend.. Ami has Rachel, Jackie has Danni, Missy has Keith, and I of course have Whitney. A girl always needs that one person to trust and confide in. Someone you tell everything too.. Even if they don't understand, you tell them just to vent.

I Didn't know Whitney before i came to school, i met her the end of my first semester. We were so funny with each other, and became so close. We didnt really have anything in common except for the fact that we were both funny. We hung out every day, did crazy stuff together. From Power boxing, to romping, to stealing stuff from boys house, and many more. We just got a long so well and were inseperable for awhile. The start of the 2nd year we moved in together. Along with Ami and Rachel. We lived in Goodman 4-1 and we had the time of our lives. Whitney and Ami were in volleyball and most of the time it was just Rachel and I. We got to know each other real well and became close. Us four girls just have this secret bond that every girl is jealous of. Every girl has there moments where they are super tired of each other, and super annoyed, but at the end of the day you love them so much that you forget what you were mad about. That is totally us. We have made so many memories together. We stayed up so late just talking about life, and boys, and typical girl stuff. We had sleepovers and nap time together. Crying and venting sessions. We tell each other how it is, and know exactly what one another are thinking. It is Never a dull moment when we are together. But that is all about to change.

Whitney is graduating next week and is leaving us for good. It use to be just us four.. until we introduced her to the man of her dreams... Since December it hasnt really been us four, and we have kinda started going our own ways already.. We all miss how it use to be but change is good.. Especially for her.. She is moving to Mesa this summer and will no longer live with us.. It's hard to be so close to someone, and then they leave. wheather it be a boy, or parent or just a Best Friend.. Just because they are moving or doing something different, doesnt necessarily mean that you wont be firends anymore.. it will just be that much harder.. I will miss her Whitty jokes.. no pun intended.. and her Wise comments.. her ability to sing... and dance.. and just have fun.. I will miss her coming into our room and telling us about her crazy weird books that she just read.. and all that Politic stuff she cares so much about.. I will miss her at dinner time, and how she always asks how to put it together..(Ami knows what im talking about).. Her weird fedish with her chap stick, how her shirts have to be pointing all the same way in her closet, her weird disease on her lip, always asking what to do if she or someone is sick or hurt.. Her being there to tell us who that actor or actress is in the movie.. to sing weird opera music.. i sadly will miss her Harry Potter fedish as well.. Whitney is an amazing girl and there is no one else like her.. She is always giddy and never angry, she forgives and forgets instantly.. She is My BEST FRIEND!! and no one could ever replace her... I love her ONE HUNDRED TIMES!!!!!!!! and im sure the other girls feel the same way...